Tentative Schedule as a Temporary Single Parent

Last fall we decided Julian wasn’t providing nearly enough excitement in our lives. Obviously, we needed to up the difficulty level. To accomplish this, Jaeger took Calvin to India for Christmas while Julian, our au pair, and I visited my mother in Washington state. Jaeger came home for a week¹ and then left this week for China, this time by himself, leaving me responsible for both Julian and Calvin. After China, Jaeger will be home for another week before moving to San Francisco for his new job. I will be staying in Colorado with the kids, and our au pair, until the school year has finished. Though, I do have two trips scheduled to visit Jaeger in San Francisco².

After Calvin and Jaeger left for India I worked for an additional week before flying to Washington. During that week I got a chance to try being a single parent with just one child. We do have an au pair but she works 8 hours a day taking care of Julian while I work for pay. Personally,I think 8 hours providing childcare is more than enough for anyone to have to deal with so only rarely do I use her as a recreational babysitter. Julian and I survived and the experience turned out reasonably well.

Then we went to visit my mom. Our au pair came with us but I didn’t work most days and took primary care of Julian. Then, Julian and I flew back to Colorado while our au pair took an official week of vacation. This meant that I was Julian’s exclusive caregiver for essentially two weeks. That, combined with Julian getting sick, made him especially clingy which toward the end was starting to make me feel claustrophobic³. However, we survived. The first work day our au pair was back Julian spent most of the day screaming, I work in my bedroom so I could hear it all. However, by the second day he had resigned himself to letting the au pair take care of him again. Being back at work was wonderful and allowed me to have more patience to deal with Julian the rest of the time. I’m really amazed by women who can spend all day, every day, with their children, and not go insane. I’m a good mom but I would not make a good stay-at-home mom. It’s not my gift.

On Tuesday Jaeger left for China. I’ve been using this time to prototype strategies for taking care of the kids by myself for the next 4 months. We’re only a couple of days in, and haven’t survived a weekend yet, but so far I think things are going pretty well.

Our schedule:
* 6:00-6:30 – Julian wakes up. Sometimes Julian tries to wake up before 6:00 but I really resist and refuse to turn on the lights. Depending on when he last ate, I may feed him.

* 6:30-7:00 – I wake up Calvin and then shower. Julian comes with me into the bathroom which is mostly baby-proofed if the closet door is closed. Julian amuses himself by playing with the bath toys on the bathroom floor. One of Julian’s favorite games is to drop a toy into the bathtub and see how long it takes me to pick it up and give it back to him.

* 7:00-7:30 – Calvin gets the choice every morning of granola, oatmeal, or fruit toast. He finds this boring but they’re all easy for me to make so he’s out of luck. Usually he picks fruit toast. I make the fruit toast and pack Calvin’s lunch while Julian crawls around on the kitchen floor trying to open the baby-proofed cupboards.

* 7:30 – Our au pair comes on duty. This is where I cheat as a “single parent”. She takes Julian, who is often ready for a bottle, or depending when he actually woke up, a nap, and leaves me free to quickly clean up breakfast and make sure Calvin is basically ready to leave for school. Calvin is allowed to watch TV before breakfast, once he has his school close on, or after breakfast once he’s brushed his teeth. This is his only TV on a school day.

* 7:40 – I take Calvin to school. We aim to leave at 7:40 but depending on how grumpy he is it may take longer to get out of the house⁴. Fortunately, his school is only 5 minutes away.

* 8:00 – I come back and start work. I usually try to start the work day walking on the treadmill as it’s very easy to triage email and catch-up on everything while walking. I find it a little harder to do thinking tasks while walking, not sure why. I think meetings would be great treadmill time except the treadmill is loud enough it’s distracting for everyone else. I also have to make sure Julian isn’t downstairs while I’m walking because he’ll get upset and want me to take care of him instead of our au pair. In any case, I try to work for an hour or two on the treadmill as this is often my only exercise of the day.

* 2:30 – I quit work and drive to pick up Calvin, leaving Julian with the au pair. I usually get to school 15 minutes before school ends and relax in the car reading a fiction book for a few minutes before picking him up.

* 3:00 I usually walk into the school to pick Calvin up, instead of using car line, because I seem to learn more about his day that way. Often I’ll find Calvin is writing, reading, or drawing and I will wait 5-10 minutes to allow him to finish up his project. Depending on how busy his teacher is I sometimes get to exchange a few words with her while I wait.

* 3:00-4:00 – This varies depending on the day. Toward the beginning of the week Calvin and I will do a quick produce run to the grocery store before going home⁵. On Fridays I usually pick Julian up and then we head off to the library to return books and pick up new ones.

* 4:00 – Calvin works on his homework. I start cooking supper, roughly following the menu for the week.

* 5:00 – My goal is to start eating supper around 5:00. This provides time to clean up before Julian has to go to bed.

* 5:30 – We’re currently taking a short break from solid food while Julian’s stomach gets back to normal. However, assuming he has solid food for supper, as soon as supper is over I take him up for his bath. I usually can read a couple of paragraphs while Julian baths. Right now I’m using the time to read house staging books.

* 6:00 – Bath time is over and we go back downstairs where I clean up the kitchen. Usually Julian is in a pretty decent mood at this point and Calvin will often play with Julian which both seem to find amusing.

* 6:30 – I feed Julian a bottle and put him to bed.

* 6:45 – I tidy up as much of the house as I can get to.

* 7:00 – I read to Calvin.

* 7:30 – Calvin goes to bed and I finish tidying up the house.

* 8:00 – I often will watch a half hour of TV. While taking care of Julian over Christmas I discovered that I cannot use this time to read fiction. It’s too easy to keep reading way past when I need to go to bed. TV provides some entertainment for the day without hooking me enough that I go drastically past bedtime. At the moment I’m watching The Expanse in half hour spurts, which is not how it’s designed to be watched. I’d really like to find a light-hearted, yet non-stupid, sitcom I could stream but nothing I’ve run across recently has inspired me.

* 8:30 – I go upstairs and read a non-fiction book. So far, it seems that non-fiction is sufficiently soothing without being engaging enough I’m tempted to stay up past my bedtime.

* 9:00 – I turn on my audiobook for the night and go to sleep. The audiobook is usually by Bujold or Pratchett and is something I’ve listened to many times before. It stops my brain from obsessing about whatever my brain wants to obsess about and lets me fall asleep and go back to sleep after dealing with Julian’s nighttime wakings.

* The rest of the night – Julian still isn’t sleeping through the night. Before Christmas he was down to once a night but since he was sick he’s currently at around 3 times a night. I’m hoping he’ll go back to just once a night soon.

So far so good. I’m not sure how the weekend will go yet.

What I’m really scared of is when we start trying to sell the house. While I’m trying to work lots of small tidying times into my schedule I’m afraid it’s not going to be enough to keep the house ready for showing. I suspect I’m just going to have to get up a little earlier in the day and probably sacrifice my evening time. Hopefully we can go under contract fairly quickly so I won’t have to keep up the intensive cleaning for too long.

(And yes, it’s past my bedtime now but it’s a Friday night so I can take a nap tomorrow when Julian does. At least, that’s the plan.)

During which the entire family got the stomach bug ↩
Toward the end of February Calvin and I will go to “tour the area” and then in March I have a library conference coincidentally located in San Francisco so I’m leaving both kids with Jaeger’s mother while I go to my conference and spend the evenings with Jaeger. ↩
Jaeger was around the last week but Julian would refuse all food and scream louder and louder until I came and dealt with him ↩
I really can’t blame him, I’d usually prefer sleeping in too. ↩
I get most of our non-produce groceries delivered either weekly or bi-weekly. ↩

Yearly Giving

I was listening to the radio recently and someone, I don’t remember who, said it was good to talk about who you gave money to. I don’t remember exactly why but it was something along the lines of promoting awareness of the charities to others. I know I should say something about each organization but it’s time for Calvin’s bedtime story so here’s the list without additional comment:

ADRA

American Public Media

Boulder Country Day

Church

Doctors without Borders

Food Bank of the Rockies

High Plains Library District

Humane Society of Boulder Valley

KUNC

SharingDots

University of Illinois – LEEP Scholarship

Walla Walla University

As an aside, while Jaeger and I mostly put our salaries into the big household pot, charity is one area we keep separate. This allows us each to prioritize the things that are important to us even if the other person may not agree. The list above is what I’ve given to this year, Jaeger’s list is different.

Interesting Times

When this year started we expected that our major event of the year would be Julian’s birth. That did indeed happen. However, a bit more has also happened.

Towards the end of July Jaeger’s employer announced they were going to layoff about 15% of its workforce. Unfortunately, while they announced they were going to do layoffs, they didn’t actually decide who was going to get laid off until September. Thus, we had several months of uncertainty. I do not do well with uncertainty and dealt with the situation by trying to avoid thinking about it. This mostly worked but did leave a little gear in my head spinning without giving it the ability to do anything useful.

A Google recruited contacted Jaeger on the same day layoffs were announced. We’re not sure if it was coincidence or not (they have been contacting him a couple of times a year for a while now). However, possibly mostly to kill time, Jaeger decided to start the Google interview process. The job he was being recruited for was in San Francisco.

September came and Jaeger was told he was getting laid off. While we always knew it was a possibility it was still a bit of a shock. However, his last day wasn’t going to be till January and the severance package was pretty decent. So while it wasn’t the best news it wasn’t a big problem either.

By October Jaeger had progressed to an on-site interview with Google. He survived the interview only to hear they wanted another follow-up interview but could do this one in Boulder.

In November Google offered Jaeger a job. Of course this was exciting but it also meant this stopped being playing and meant we had to actually seriously think about moving our household. There were a number of drawbacks to the proposal. First, our original plan was to move to Asia at the end of the school year. If Jaeger accepted the Google offer this would put that plan on hold for at least two years. Second, San Francisco is fun but also really, really expensive. The Google salary would be extremely generous for most locations in the country but once you adjust for cost of living and taxes, our family will be earning less in San Francisco than we do in Colorado¹. However, I did get permission from my employer to telecommute from California so at least I wouldn’t have to go hunting for another job.

Eventually, Jaeger decided to accept the Google offer. He got his current employer to pull in his last day so he’ll finish working at his current employer in December, take a break, and start work at Google in February. The rest of us will move to San Francisco at the end of the school year. I’ve started mapping out plans in my head for how to handle being the sole parent in Colorado. I’m also looking at our house and making a list of everything that needs to be done before it’s ready to go on the market to be sold.

Well, that’s pretty much all the facts. As to how I feel, the answer is complicated.

I’ve always enjoyed moving. I had a great deal of fun moving to different colleges and kept a fantastic spreadsheet that allowed me to graduate on time even though I changed majors and colleges many times. I’ve now been in Colorado for 13 years and am ready to move on. At this point we’ve accumulated a lot of stuff and it makes moving harder. One of the downsides of San Francisco is we’ll probably be living in a much smaller house. However, I’m hoping to use this opportunity to really reduce the amount of useless stuff we have floating around. My biggest fear centers around never living in a big city before. While I do ok with people, I much prefer being surrounded by trees. Even so, I’m relieved that my brain finally has a problem that has been refined enough I can start working on solutions.

In other news, Julian continues to develop. He can now crawl rapidly, stand, and looks like he might be getting ready to walk any day now. He has taken one or two very shaky steps but still has a way to go before he’s actually walking. Of course, Julian is still only 8 months old so he has a lot of time left before we would expect him to walk. Julian has also recently starting playing with solid food. Given Calvin’s extreme slowness in learning how to eat solid foods, I still had to puree foods when Calvin was 1-year-old, I was also expecting Julian to be slow. However, just this week he has started enjoying soft potato, sweet potato, Cheerios, and Asian pear. He hasn’t got the chewing/swallowing thing down completely but is shoveling food enthusiastically into his month.

Unfortunately, Julian still wakes up during the night. Calvin was sleeping through the night by 3 months but Julian still requires at least one bottle, and sometimes two. However, just within this last week he’s finally started eating better during the day so I’m hoping his nighttime eating might taper off soon.

Calvin excels at being a great big brother and is doing well at school. He finally seems to have gotten over the reading hump problem we were having last year and now reads for fun when we find the right (i.e. interesting) books for him.

Overall, it’s been a very exciting year so far and next year will also be full of new experiences for our family.

At least for the first year. Their bonuses and stock do look generous but our family has always preferred to live on the guaranteed base salary and use bonuses for fun stuff but we’re going to need to adjust that somewhat for Google. ↩

Tantra Park, Boulder, CO

Tantra Park was the first park we visited last Sunday. Based on the map I knew the park was tucked away behind the houses but the park sprawls in an odd shape and I wasn’t sure where the playground structure was located. I looked at the satellite image and misidentified a catch basin as the likely spot.

We parked by the tennis courts on W Moorhead Cir and crossed the street to enter via a path. The path curves behind the subdivision houses and marks the beginning of a dramatic elevation increase. As we walked along the path in search of the playground I saw a sign strongly advising against sledding down the hill because it was steep with no flat area to slow down before you hit hard objects. Of course, now that I’m back with internet, I see that Tantra is a very popular sledding hill in winter. Who knew?¹ According to Boulder Families the hill can get quite packed. This site gives you a feel for how it looks in winter. While I can see how some parts of the hill may be too steep I think there are probably other sections that are fine.

After meandering along the path we found the playground structure backing up to the east curve of Tantra Park Circle. However, I’m not sure there is a way from the street to get behind the houses. Possibly the tennis courts are as good a place to park as any.

The playground structures are pretty good for such a hidden park. They have equipment for ages 5-12².

Overlooking the 5-12 play area is another area designed for younger kids that includes a play house and bucket swings.

I decided it was time to see what Julian thinks of swings: he approves.

Calvin was excited that Julian is finally doing something he can relate to and joined us on the swings.

If you look really (really) closely you can see Julian’s two brand-new teeth, discovered the prior day.

Beside the younger kid play area there is a covered structure with a picnic table. The picture shows steps from the 5-12 age play area but there is a path curved around the back that allows access to strollers and other wheeled contraptions.

Calvin played briefly with some kids but didn’t spend a lot of time on the larger structure.

Instead, he wanted to show off for Julian.

The playground equipment was mostly fairly traditional with the exception of . . . something I can’t find the name for. Basically it’s a raised flexible tube, with springs in the middle, that kids can jump on while hanging on to poles. It looks pedestrian when only one kid is on it but if you get multiple kids it can get quite bouncy.

Both Calvin and Julian had lots of fun at this playground and if we’re around for winter we’ll need to come back and see if we can do some safe tobogganing.

Summary:

Features	5-12 playground equipment, curved slide, bridge, ladder, corkscrew climber, driving wheels panel, spiral slide, money bars, tube bouncer, tire swing, bucket swings, moving maze panel, 2-5 year old play structure (mainly house but also a sand tube oddly positioned no where near sand)
Surface Material	Small gravel for the larger play area and poured rubber for the younger area
Restrooms	No
Water fountain	No
Shade	Small shelter plus trees to the side of the playground
Picnic area	Yes, one in covered shelter.
Parking	Street parking – Parking across from the tennis courts on W Moorhead Cir about as good a chance as any.
Pros	Apparently a fairly popular sledding hill
Cons	Very long hike if you need a restroom in a hurry. Not for those being potty trained.

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Actually, given my husband grew up here, I expected him to know but possibly it’s too far south for him to think it worth mentioning. ↩
Whenever I say “5-12” you realize I’m just quoting the official ages, right? My son was ready for the 5-12 equipment by 3 at the latest. ↩

Martin Park, Boulder, CO

We went to two parks on Saturday: Tantra Park and Martin Park . I’m starting with Martin Park because it was a much shorter trip. Calvin seemed to get an attack of self-consciousness when he learned there was a birthday party happening and didn’t want to be around the other kids.

Martin Park is a neighborhood park but it has a wide variety of amenities including tennis courts, ball fields, a good size shelter, and of course a playground. The playground has equipment for both younger and older kids.

The bigger equipment has several different types of slides as well as a bridge.

The little equipment has a slide and a tic-tac-toe panel.

Bear Creek runs alongside the park. The side of the park next to the creek has a fence (with openings) presumably to make it harder for children to bolt the moment their guardian looks away.

Overall, even though our visit was very brief it seemed like a nice park.

Summary:

Features	5-12 playground equipment, tall spiral slide, regular slide, spiral climber, stacked circles that can be climbed but also rotate, covered slide, small double slide, bridge, spring riders, 2-5 equipment, tic-tac-toe panel, bucket swings, regular swings
Surface Material	Small gravel
Restrooms	Yes
Water fountain	Didn’t see one but could have missed it
Shade	Large shelter with several picnic tables. Also trees that shade one edge of the playground
Picnic area	Yes, covered shelter with several picnic tables.
Parking	Street parking – parking in the culdesac on Dartmouth Ave is a good location
Pros	A lot of amenities for both adults and kids Restrooms!
Cons	Nothing obvious

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North Boulder Park, Boulder, Colorado

Several years ago we visited North Boulder Park. There was a lot of construction fencing around the park and I kept meaning to go back and see what had been done. Finally, last Saturday, we visited the park again. It turns out they added an adult exercise area.

The exercise equipment was very popular with the kids. It is intended for ages 14+ and younger kids could get hurt if not watched carefully. No adults used it while we were there. However, that probably was because it was quite hot. The adult exercise equipment provides a pretty good view of the children’s playground equipment so, depending on the age and needs of your child, it might be possible to exercise while your kids play.

Naturally, since this is suppose to be adult equipment it was over-sized for all the kids.

The children’s equipment was traditional but in good repair.

It had an area for older kids and younger kids.

Calvin spent a lot of time in a lovely tree.

Aside from the playground, the park has a wide variety of activities. There’s a very large field next to the playground which is very popular as a cross country skiing venue in the winter. There’s also a fairly large shelter. It’s right next to the playground equipment but you can’t be under the shelter and see the playground at the same time. However, there are various benches shaded by trees scattered around the equipment area. There’s also a half-court basketball court and table tennis.

Summary:

Features	5-12 playground equipment, spiral slide, spiral climber, fireman pole, monkey bars, climbing tree, basketball court, table tennis, 2 spring riders, digger, 2-5 playground equipment, small double slide, small covered slide, small curved slide, swings, bucket swings
Exercise Equipment	Leg Extension, 2-Level Horizontal Bars, 2-Person Full Bar Exercise, 2-Person Incline Sit-Up Benches, Single Leg Curl, Single Elliptical, 2-Person Chest Press (Accessible), 2-Person Lat Pull-down (Accessible), 4-Person Lower Body Combo
Surface Material	Pea gravel (concrete for exercise equipment)
Restrooms	Yes (May through September)
Water fountain	Yes (very lower water pressure though)
Shade	Shade trees and large shelter. A lot of shaded benches but very little shade on the actual playground.
Picnic area	Yes, covered shelter with several picnic tables. Also have a couple of picnic tables that aren’t covered as well as 2 grills.
Parking	Parking Lot
Pros	Adult Exercise Equipment
Cons	Very traditional playground equipment, not very challenging for older kids.

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Summer Update

I was looking at my recent blog entries and noticed that, other than our feeding drama, I haven’t talked about life with a second child.

I don’t have postpartum depression this time. This makes a huge difference in all aspects of my life and how I relate to my children. I can’t even begin to describe the difference. I spent the first month after Julian was born thinking he was an easy baby. We had feeding issues but I wasn’t as obsessed with feeding Julian The One True Way and so was able to focus on nutrition over dogma. Having lived with Julian for four months I now believe that Julian isn’t what most people would consider an easy baby. However, he’s less intense than Calvin was, and we’re more experienced, so he’s easier for us.

The first couple of months after Julian was born I put myself on a very strict schedule. My order of priority was:

eat
sleep
shower
everything else

Julian would wake up for the day between 7:00-9:00am. I’d feed him when he woke up and then start down my to-do list until Julian was ready to nap. Usually I had time to eat before Julian had his first nap. Sometimes I showered. However, as soon as Julian napped, I religiously rested. I didn’t always sleep but I always laid down¹. Then Julian would wake up, I would feed him, and we’d repeat until night time. Initially, it looked like Julian was going to sleep through the night² quickly. However, Julian learned to wake up every 2-5 hours because the pediatricians told me I had to wake Julian up every 4-5 hours until he regained his birth weight.

I planned on twelve weeks of maternity leave. I was very fortunate to have enough sick/vacation combo that I could cover it all at 100% of my normal pay³. At four weeks postpartum everything seemed incredibly easy and I was getting bored. I took the opportunity to catch up on all my work email and started wondering if I could go back to work early. Then, all of a sudden, Julian started screaming unconsolably most evenings for an hour or so. Other things must have changed also, though I can’t put my finger on anything in particular, and all of a sudden I did not have the time or energy to go back to work early. The screaming tapered down a bit around six weeks but Julian was still on the fussy side.

At Julian’s two-month appointment I learned that he had a milk protein allergy. This meant we got to switch from regular formula to expensive formula. I’m not sure if Julian’s fussiness was related to the milk protein allergy or not. I didn’t see an instant improvement when we switched formulas. However, Julian hated the formula and possibly wasn’t drinking as much as he really needed. At around 3 1/2 months we switched to a different hypoallergenic formula which Julian obviously preferred and his intake doubled overnight.

At the beginning of June Calvin, Julian, and I flew to Washington state to visit my parents. Jaeger and I believe that one reason Calvin is such a good flier is because we started him early. So, of course, it was important to start Julian early also. I create all our packing lists on our personal wiki and so I was able to pull up my packing list from when Calvin was the same age. I was astonished to see that at the same age Calvin had been drinking six ounces of formula while Julian was only drinking two. This wasn’t because I was making more breastmilk this time, Julian was just eating less food.

We left for the airport with plenty of time and breezed through security only to learn that our flight was delayed. One of the flight attendants gave Julian a first flight certificate. The flight went well other than our plane being delayed and Calvin and I having a disagreement over whether our supper had been lunch. Julian slept most of it and I don’t think he cried at all once we were on the plane.

We got to my parents’ house a bit after midnight and I was horrified to discover that the first couple clothing layers in our luggage were soaking wet. This included Julian’s sleep sack. I’ve had planes delayed by weather before and sometimes the outside of the luggage has been damp but never the inside. Fortunately, the baby monitor survived unscathed⁴. A couple of days after we arrived my parents took us to the beach for several days. Calvin had a lot of fun but I mostly stayed inside the rented house because Julian did not approve of the wind. Still, I find coasts on the northwest very invigorating.

The following Monday I started work. We were going to have an au pair come from China to watch Julian but she wasn’t scheduled to arrived till late July so Jaeger’s mom watched Julian. I was really excited to get back to work but also nervous. I was worried because I had a hard time after Calvin was born being productive at work. I think it was different this time because 1) I was getting more sleep 2) I didn’t have to rush Julian to daycare before I could work and 3) I worked in the morning instead of the afternoon.

At about 3 1/2 months my mom came out to watch Julian. Julian continued to reject the first hypoallergenic formula. In fact, it had gotten worse since I started working because he started getting some breastmilk in a bottle. Easy delivery plus better taste must have made him decide he had no need for the icky formula. I was at my wits end because I wasn’t producing nearly enough to exclusively feed him breastmilk and Julian was getting crankier. I called the doctor’s office and they suggested I try a different hypoallergenic formula. I was dubious because it seemed, on the internet, that everyone preferred his first formula. However, Julian definitely preferred the second formula over the first. In fact, all the adults also agreed the second formula tasted better (yes, I tasted it, I wanted to know what I was giving him). Immediately Julian doubled his formula intake. I hadn’t realized until that point how much his feeding had been stressing me out. I was emotionally so much better than I had been with Calvin that I hadn’t really noticed the stress points that still existed.

Breastfeeding had been getting progressively harder. It had gotten to the point where Julian would only eat well at night when he wasn’t very awake. Since I now felt Julian was getting enough food from formula, I decided it was time to start cutting down on the breastfeeding. I did it very slowly as when I stopped pumping for Calvin I got mastitis. This time I was much more careful. Eventually I was down to only a couple of times a night, mainly as an enhanced pacifier, while we waited for the formula to warm up⁵.

Also at about 3 1/2 mounths Julian’s sleep deterioted noticably. He was having a very hard time napping during the day and also started waking up every 2-3 hours to feed. I was hoping that getting adequate amounts of food would allow him to start sleeping through the night. Calvin was sleeping through the night, a solid 8+ hours, by 3 months. However, more food didn’t seem to increase Julian’s night-time sleeping. Julian is now back to sleeping every 3-4 hours, which is a great improvement, but not where I’d like him to be yet.

Typcial schedule at almost five months:

6:00-7:00pm – Julian goes to sleep
9:30-10:30pm – Julian wakes up for first feeding
12:30-3:30pm – Julian wakes up for second feeding (if I’m very unlucky he’ll stay awake an hour or two before sleeping again but this only happens a couple of times a week)
4:30am – Julian wakes up again. I transfer him to the rocking chair and feed him, if needed, then both of us doze for the rest of the night
6:30-7:30am – Julian wakes up (next week, when school starts, I’m going to have to start getting up at 6:30 so Julian will probably also)
Upon waking up, feed Julian his first morning bottle
Julian usually eats every 3-4 hours during the day and sleeps every 2-3 hours (though anywhere from 1/2 hour to 2 hours, usually on the shorter side).
Rinse and repeat

As long as I fall asleep by 9pm every night I usually get enough sleep. Naturally, Julian’s worst night are usually correlated with me cheating and going to bed late.

Our Chinese au pair was suppose to arrive at the end of July but two days before she was suppose to leave China we got a message that she had fainted and was having major surgery at the hospital. She wasn’t going to be able to come on time. Jaeger and I discussed it and decided that a recovery for that major of a situation probably meant that we needed to go ahead and find another au pair immediately. Jaeger’s mother was having surgery on her hand and would be unable to take care of Julian past the original dates we had agreed upon. Some frantic searching passed and we found an au pair that needed to transition from her initial host family due to personality and lifestyle differences (she’s vegan). We looked at her profile and thought she looked like she’d work out. She’s now been with us for about a month and so far it has worked out very well. She’s very good with Julian, which was my number one requirement, and being vegan her diet is also compatible with ours.

Next week Calvin will start 1st grade which will add different complications to our schedule. I think he’s also going to be joining cub scouts because one of his good friends will be in it so that too will be a new experience for us.

Speaking of Calvin . . . Calvin is doing incredibly well with Julian. Sometimes when Julian is screaming, and I’m not immediately available, Calvin will try to put the pacifier in or hand him a toy to play with. I decided not to put Calvin in any summer camp or daycare. I had some idea of making him read to me every day as well as doing a bit of math. That fell through once I went back to work. Calvin has spent most of the summer listening to audiobooks while playing with Legos. Right now he’s listening to The Odyssey⁶. I’m sure this books is too mature for him. However, I was so tired of loading multiple books every single day. At least The Odyssey is long enough he’s been listening to it for multiple days⁷. I do try to push him outside at least once a day and he does enjoy playing in the sandbox and watering everything but the plants. Summer hasn’t been a particularly stimulating experience for him. However, I think this may actually be a good thing because he’s looking forward to starting school. This would be a major advantage over last year when he went from a play-based preschool to a more classical oriented and traditionally structured kindergarten.

My biggest aggravation at the moment is my lack of reading time. I’ve listened to a ton of books but have read less than five since Julian was born. I love listening to audiobooks but it’s a different experience than reading them⁸. I have finished two books in the last week so maybe I’m slowly ramping up again.

All things considered, I don’t find the second infant experience nearly as demoralizing as the first. It helps that I can look at Calvin and know that some day Julian will sleep through the night and I won’t have to choose between reading and sleeping.

Unless I needed to eat and then I stuffed some trail mix in my mouth before lying down. ↩
For the record, I consider this 8 hours. Possibly medically inaccurate but Calvin slept 8+ hours very quickly so I naively assumed Julian would also. ↩
My work also offers short-term disability for maternity leave but I think you only get 2/3 your regular paycheck. Definitely better than nothing but 100% is best :) ↩
For the return trip I zip-locked everything and of course nothing got wet. ↩
The second hypoallergenic formula is edible, which is a big plus. However, it’s also very lumpy when made with room temperature water. ↩
Translated by Robert Fagles and narrated by Sir Ian McKellan. ↩
This is also deepening my suspician that he’ll listen to just about anything. ↩
Though, for the record, I think listening to audiobooks is just as legit as reading the book. It’s just one can multi-task with an audiobook and reading a book requires some time when things are relatively calm ↩

Crestview Park, Boulder, CO

Crestview Park suffered damage during the 2013 flood. The renovations were completed just this summer and the playground looks new and shiny.

It’s a short walk from street parking to the playground structure. The original park trees are still there and provide several shady areas for sitting. While Calvin played Julian and I relaxed under one of the trees.

There’s also several benches and a shaded picnic shelter.

The playground isn’t large but it has a nice combination of equipment. It has a basic slide that is built on a small slope.

There’s a bridge from nowhere.

From the bridge you can step on stones, then navigate a net which leads to a house play structure.

Calvin decided he wanted to pose in the little house.

Calvin ignored the swings.

But did walk over and examine the sand pit, play house, and “wood” table and chairs. Unfortunately, I didn’t think to include our sand toys.

No one was there when we first arrived at the park so Calvin wandered around for a bit before laying out on the “log” and complaining there was no one to play with. Fortunately, a couple of kids arrived after that and we stayed until Julian started to get fussy.

Summary:

Features	5-12 playground equipment, slide, bridge, net, play house, sand, kid table and chairs, stepping stones, stumps, and logs, one regular swing, two toddler swings
Surface Material	Poured Rubber
Restrooms	No
Water fountain	No
Shade	Shade trees and shelter. There is some shade on parts of the playground. However, there is quite a bit of shade off to the side of the play area.
Picnic area	Yes, covered shelter with three picnic tables.
Parking	Street parking, requires short walk to playground.
Pros	Nice and new
Cons	No restrooms or water fountain

View Random Parks and Playgrounds in a larger map

Sandstone Ranch (west side), Longmont, CO

Sandstone Ranch was my favorite park when we lived in Longmont. It has a bit of everything: playground for toddlers, playground for bigger kids, tire swing, and, most importantly in summer, a splash pad! When Calvin was young I adored splash pads because he could get wet without me having to be within arms reach of him the entire time. Today I had to run to Lowes in Longmont so we took a detour to visit the park.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get particularly good pictures this time as Julian was fussy. However, hopefully you can get the idea.

It’s a bit tricky finding the playground for the first time. Drive east on 119 past the Walmart and turn right onto Sands One Dr. Take the first right into the parking lot. Turn right again and follow the road as it meanders west until you end up in a parking lot with the skate park, adventure park, and restrooms.

From the parking lot, the first section is the toddler playground. It has a small teepee, cabin, spinner, spring riders, and musical panel.

Behind the first section are farm animal statues for the kids to climb on. There use to be a tractor and a log that the kids could climb through but those must have been damaged beyond repair at some point.

This section also contains a raised sandbox area. It use to have water hooked up which was fantastic. I’m not sure why but the water aspect hasn’t worked for years (possibly sanitary issues?). There’s also a sand area that is level with the ground. There’s a statue of a fish, a frog, and a turtle for kids to crawl on.

The one big downside to this park is it is impossible to watch kids in both the toddler and the older kid section at the same time. There’s wonderful landscaping around the play areas but they obscure the sight lines.

By the toddler section are bathrooms (open in summer), drinking fountain, and a fairly large covered shelter. There’s another shelter close to the splash pad. However, it looks like the other benches will often be in direct sunlight.

The splash pad is one of the best parts of the park. There’s a button to turn the water on. It turns on for several minutes and then there’s an enforced delay of several minutes where the water will not turn back on no matter how many times a child slams the button.

Behind the splash pad is the “tree house” play area. Calvin would play on this area, with close supervision, by the time he was two years old and it absolutely terrified me. The New York Times had recently published an article about the dangers of safe playgrounds which I theoretically believed but is much harder to put into practice. Parts of the structure are high enough I have trouble touching them with my hands over my head. Now Calvin is old enough to play in the tree house area without too much supervision and Julian isn’t mobile yet so our visit today was much more relaxing than prior visits have been.

The climbing options on the opposite side from the caterpillar slide always made me particularly nervous. Naturally, Calvin loved crawling up them.

It’s hard to tell from the pictures that I have but the tree house structure is connected to a small hill with a bridge. There’s a covered slide protruding from the hill.

There is also a tire swing and a rope climbing structure for older kids to enjoy. There are no traditional swings at this playground.

Sandstone Ranch is an entire complex that includes a skate park (close to the toddler play area but mostly hidden from view due to elevation) and sports field. On the east side of the park is a smaller playground area. It has a more traditional-style equipment and I think it has regular swings (though I can’t remember for sure). There are a lot of walking paths that connect various parts of the park and also connect to the St. Vrain Greenway trail.

We don’t visit this park much anymore due to all the great parks in Boulder. However, it’s still worth the occasional visit when the weather is hot.

Summary:

Features	2-5 playground equipment, 5-12 playground equipment, spinner, caterpillar slide, corkscrew slide, covered slide, trapeze steps, leaf steps, small hill, tire swing, water/splash area, sand, spring riders, teepee, statues to climb on, play house, musical panel, rope climbing structure.
Surface Material	Poured Rubber, some bark chips
Restrooms	Yes, open in summer
Water fountain	Yes, on in summer
Shade	There’s several shelters by the park which are available as long as no one has rented them. There’s also trees and other landscaping that provides varying levels of shade. The toddler play area doesn’t have a lot of shade. The older kids’ play area has a bit more due to the height of the structure itself.
Picnic area	Yes, two covered shelters with multiple picnic tables.
Parking	Parking lot
Pros	Nice toddler and big kid areas Splash pad! Sand!
Cons	Hard to see older kids and toddlers at the same time.

View Random Parks and Playgrounds in a larger map

Hugo Reading Update

I am almost done with the Hugos. I have decided not to try to read everything this year. However, here are my quick thoughts on what I have read and how I will vote:

Best Novel
1) Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie – This was by far my favorite of the nominated novels. I read it as soon as it came out and really enjoyed. Second novels always make me nervous but this one did not disappoint. I really enjoyed seeing Breq’s interactions with her subordinates and her ship.

2) Skin Game by Jim Butcher – I had a really hard time deciding whether to rank this one or The Goblin Emperor second. Eventually, I decided on this one because I enjoyed it more. While I have read Butcher’s Codex Alera series, I had never read any books in the Dresden Files and was prepared to dislike it as I’m not a huge fan of paranormal fantasy. I listened to the audio version of Skin Game which is narrated by James Marsters. It did a good job of distracting me when I was feeding Julian which I am quite grateful for. It took me several hours to get into the book but by the end I was hooked. I always love an implausible but fun finish.

3) The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison -I didn’t like this book nearly as much as many other people did. There were interesting elements and I did finish it fairly quickly. However, I had a hard time connecting with the protagonist.

No Rank) Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu, translated by Ken Liu – I read about half of this book and found many things about it fascinating. I’ve been dabbling with learning Chinese characters and it was quite interesting examining the English sentence structure and word choices in the context of what I’ve learned about Chinese so far. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get into the plot.

No Rank) The Dark Between the Stars by Kevin J. Anderson – I started out listening to the audio book, gave up, switched to the physical book, gave up and quit. It’s a massive book. At this particular time in my life, there has to be a huge payoff for me to be willing to commit to a very long book. Unfortunately, I didn’t get hooked enough to commit to The Dark Between the Stars. I think I got about 1/3 of the way through before giving up. I don’t particularly like reading books where you have lots of different viewpoints represented. In general, I prefer one strong viewpoint with occasional forays allowed into other people’s minds if it’s absolutely necessary. There were some viewpoints I found interesting but not enough to keep reading about everyone else.

I did not use “No Award” in this category because I felt most of these books had something in them that made them reasonable Hugo potential.

Best Short Story
1) “Totaled” by Kary English – This was the only short story that I really liked. It had a fairly interesting premise.

2) No Award – I did not feel like the other short stories should win.

No Rank) “On A Spiritual Plain” by Lou Antonelli – I liked how ghosts were created in this story but other than that it didn’t really interest me.

No Rank) “The Parliament of Beasts and Birds” by John C. Wright – I had to read the opening paragraph of “The Parliament of Beasts and Birds” several times before it started to make sense to me. I’ve read a lot of Christian fiction and the style felt fairly familiar to me. At first I thought it was a terrible story. Then, I ran across someone on the internet claiming this wasn’t Christian allegory, it was horror. I’m not entirely sure if the reviewer was being serious or not but all of a sudden it clicked and I agreed. However, I don’t like horror and since this is my ballot, I don’t have to vote for it.

No Rank) “A Single Samurai” by Steven Diamond – Meh.

No Rank) “Turncoat” by Steve Rzasa – This one almost made it above the No Award fold. It could be the setup for an interesting novel. However, I didn’t feel the story was particularly interesting in isolation.

Graphic Novel
1) Ms. Marvel Volume 1: No Normal written by G. Willow Wilson, illustrated by Adrian Alphona and Jake Wyatt – I really enjoyed this graphic novel. It was a lot of fun and I the appreciated trial and error process Kamala went through both with her super powers and figuring out who she wanted to be.

2) Rat Queens Volume 1: Sass and Sorcery written by Kurtis J. Weibe, art by Roc Upchurch – Another fun story.

3) Saga Volume 3 written by Brian K. Vaughan, illustrated by Fiona Staples – I feel a bit guilty putting this at #3 as it’s still a great graphic novel. However, it feels mid-arc and as such was more depressing than I was interested in dealing with when I read it.

4) No Award

No Rank) Sex Criminals Volume 1: One Weird Trick written by Matt Fraction, art by Chip Zdarsky – This graphic novel had an interesting premise and made some good points about sex in our culture. However, overall the plot bored me.

No Rank) The Zombie Nation Book #2: Reduce Reuse Reanimate by Carter Reid – I did not read the actual book. However, I went to the author’s website and read quite a few of the comics to get a feel for the style and content. Basically, I didn’t find any redeeming aspect to get me over my dislike of zombies.

I’m still planning to vote for Best Dramatic Presentation (Long Form). I’ve watched all the movies except Interstellar. I just need to find a night where A) Julian goes to bed quickly B) There’s nothing else urgent I need to do and C) I haven’t fallen asleep.

I was originally planning to read the “Best Novella” and possibly some of the The John W. Campbell Award nominees. However, I downloaded the Hugo packet, looked at the files, and couldn’t summon any enthusiasm. Instead, I’ve decided to focus on doing more due diligence prior to nominating stories for the Hugos next year. I’m going to try to broaden my short fiction horizons ahead of time. In addition, there’s several novels I’m looking forward to that will be coming out in the next couple of months. I’m especially looking forward to N.K. Jemisin’s The Fifth Season.

This has certainly been an interesting year for the Hugos but I’m hoping next year can get back to normal.

Kiesa's Mutterings

Rarely updated entries on my life

Tentative Schedule as a Temporary Single Parent

Yearly Giving

Interesting Times

Tantra Park, Boulder, CO

Martin Park, Boulder, CO

North Boulder Park, Boulder, Colorado

Summer Update

Crestview Park, Boulder, CO

Sandstone Ranch (west side), Longmont, CO

Hugo Reading Update